Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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