ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
