Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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