Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
