You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
