Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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