nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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