How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
