i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
