It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize