fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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