Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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