i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
