Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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