I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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