I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She announced her abortion via fbk
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
