Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
