I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
not ubering you a puppy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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