Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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