dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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