i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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