I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
