Do you still have your period?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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