How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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