you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
