You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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