There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
