i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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