Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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