Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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