Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
