U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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