apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
