If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
