yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
