The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
