Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
