alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
