so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
