We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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