Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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