At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
