so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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