I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize