so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
And then he peed in my hair
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