I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize