so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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