I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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