She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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