what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
