That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
