Im at strip club and am horny
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
