Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
