Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
