redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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