you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
