Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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