I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
