my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
