we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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