my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
