yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I love black thongs
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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