Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
