all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
