32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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